


Shooting Lessons

by guciroxie



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, I can't write smut so I stopped before that would become a problem, Secret Relationship, also, and a loaded gun should not be taken as lightly as they do in this fic, but it's very clearly headed in that direction, gun safety is important, gunplay is definitely foreplay for Commander Shepard, just a small happy fic, set at some point in Mass Effect 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29689656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guciroxie/pseuds/guciroxie
Summary: Shepard offers to teach Joker how to shoot a sniper rifle, and there's definitely no ulterior motives from either party, they promise.Of course that doesn't stop their friends from hoping the lesson will go very sideways.
Relationships: Garrus Vakarian/Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Jeff "Joker" Moreau/Female Shepard
Kudos: 4





	Shooting Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> All my love goes to my beta Marie who was willing to read and edit this spur of the moment fic for a fandom she has absolutely no context for.

Garrus had been on his way to check in on his girlfriend in engineering when he exited the elevator — only to find her and Liara standing at the window overlooking the cargo bay and whispering to each other.

“What’s going on?”

Tali shushed him, giggling, and Liara lightly slapped her arm. “They can’t hear us from here Tal, you don’t have to quiet him.”

Garrus moved closer to the window. “Who are you two spying on, exactly?”

Tali giggled again. “Shepard and Joker. Apparently Joker had mentioned that he didn’t think he’d be a very good shot with anything bigger than a pistol, and Shepard said he could probably fire a sniper rifle without having to brace it as weird as he does an assault rifle. Now she’s teaching him how to shoot one.”

Garrus grunted. “Shepard is teaching him how to use a sniper rifle? She can barely use one; if Joker wanted to learn, why didn’t he ask me?”

Both ladies looked at him; Liara’s face clearly letting him know he was being stupid, and he could guess Tali’s was the same.

He could hear Tali start to take a breath, and was prepared to have her tease him mercilessly, but Liara beat her to it, albeit with a softer tone. “I don’t really think the point of this tutoring session is to make him a better shot.”

The point went right over his head. “So then why …”

Tali just groaned and pulled her oblivious turian boyfriend closer to the window. “Just watch, Garrus.”

It took him a second to spot the pilot and commander. They were lying on the top of some storage containers to the left of the cargo bay center walkway. He could see some targets lined up across the bay from them, and noticed the mysterious absence of the two crew members who usually spent their time down there.

“Where are Vega and Cortez?” he asked his companions.

“Who cares?” Tali said at the same time Liara explained, “I believe they too noticed what was brewing, and gave up their space for the cause.”

“Cause?” 

Tali snorted. “Oh yeah, if there's one thing we can all agree on, it’s that this has been too long coming.”

Liara responded directly to Tali in a tone that resembled the quiet whispered giggling he had first walked in on. “And James had to guard Shepard for six months locked up without Jeff, can you imagine how frustrated he must have been hearing how she talks about him, and then finding out they weren’t even together?”

Tali just giggled again in response.

Garrus still didn’t really understand. Shepard and Joker? He supposed he could see how they would work together, they tended to spend most of their free time together anyway, and at this point they practically had their own language. But he had figured they were just good friends.

He glanced back at the ‘shooting lesson’ happening below them. Joker was lying on his stomach, eye at the scope. Just a moment before, Shepard had been on her side next to him, maneuvering his body so it faced the target correctly, and shifting his arms so they could both comfortably hold the trigger and his body weight.

But as he watched them, he saw Shepard shift so she was almost wrapping herself around Joker completely. He knew she was still holding herself up, but she had moved one arm to the opposite side of her pupil, and was all but lying on top of him. 

He watched as Joker stiffened when the contact started, and then how every muscle in the pilot’s body seemed to relax, seemed to appreciate the touch of his friend, his … whatever. Garrus sort of heard a sigh come from one of the ladies to his right, but he was so focused on the scene in front of him, he barely noticed.

It seemed inappropriate to watch the two of them down there. It seemed like a deeply private moment. And one that was on the verge of leading to quite a few more deeply private moments.

When Shepard shifted again, putting all of her weight onto one forearm and lifting her other hand to rest it on Joker’s hip, adding pressure until it dipped into a position that seemed both more stable for shooting and indecently closer to her own at the same time, Garrus decided that was enough.

Much to the dismay and loud protests of those with him, he pushed a button on the console in front of him, tinting the cargo bay windows so that no one could look in.

“Alright. I think it’s time to give those two some privacy,” he said, shepherding the other two away from the window and back in the general direction of their posts.

“Aw, but I wanted to watch and see if either of them finally did anything about their feelings,” Tali grumbled.

Garrus just hummed in response, but he was pretty sure that there was no way to come back from that scene without making a real move.

*********

“They’re gone now.” Joker said, glancing out of the corner of his eye at the big window that had suddenly tinted.

Shepard chuckled. “Good on Garrus, I’m glad someone on this ship can act as a voice of reason.”

Joker moved his hand away from the trigger and relaxed his posture a little. Shepard was still leaning over him; he could feel her pressing gently onto his back, and he didn’t want to move too far away from her.

“Do you think we gave them a good show?” he asked, chuckling at the image he could still see of the tittering girls watching from above.

“Show?” she asked, her tone revealing the teasing nature of her words. “You mean, you didn’t desperately want to learn how to fire a sniper rifle?”

He could feel her hand wrapped around his hip, her thumb gently rubbing his bare skin just under his shirt, sending tingles throughout his body. Channeling every bit of grace he had, he smoothly flipped over, laid on his back, and gazed up at her. 

Reaching up to brush his hand over her cheek and watching her close her eyes, he answered. “I might have had some ulterior motives.”

He saw the muscles of her arms ripple as she lowered herself slowly in a pushup form that made him envious. Once almost his entire field of vision was taken up by her face, she whispered, “And what might those have been?” in a tone that made him shiver.

He groaned in response, and could almost feel her begin to chuckle. Just before the sound could leave her mouth, he reached up and almost yanked her down to him, pressing his lips to hers in a bruising kiss.

Fortunately, she still had the presence of mind to slow her final descent, keeping the sudden onslaught from cracking one of his ribs. He couldn’t say he would have minded the injury, deeming any broken bone that happened because of her to be altogether worth it, but he was grateful anyway.

That gratitude grew as she shifted herself, placing her legs to either side and moving impossibly closer to him all down the line of his body. He would have hated having to stop this to go see Dr. Chakwas, who always seemed to be able to make fun of him without even saying a word.

He shifted his hands, one resting on the back of her neck, the other finding its way under her N7 tank top as she parted her mouth. Joker heard a groan but couldn’t quite place if it had come from him or her, or possibly both.

He felt her push his shirt up higher, scratching her nails down his stomach just hard enough that he knew they would leave a mark. He lifted his hips, pressing further against her, and losing all thoughts other than the feeling of her callused fingers on his body, and the softness of her breast in his hand.

She responded in kind, all but grinding against him, and let out a gasp, forcing them to separate and giving Joker his first chance at oxygen in a while.

She leaned her forehead against his, panting. “My cabin. Now.”

Joker shook his head. “I don’t know if I can move, Shep. And certainly not anywhere someone else might see us.”

Shepard shifted on him again and Joker choked back a moan. “Yeah,” she whispered, breathless. “I get that. But our audience could come back at any minute waiting for us to get together, and what I have in mind might be a bit too much of a show for them.”

Joker let his head fall back to the ground. “Fine, let’s go. But it’s gotta be the quickest elevator ride in history, or I can’t promise you’ll leave it as clothed as you entered.”

Shepard just laughed and got up, offering a hand to Joker to help him as well, which he happily accepted. Once he was on his feet, she yanked him closer and kissed him hard. Pulling away slightly she bit the side of his jaw and licked her way to his ear. “Clothes are overrated anyway.”

He let out a deep throaty chuckle, feeling more than a little lightheaded. He’s not entirely sure how he climbed down the ladder, but once he was on solid ground again it was less than a second before she was back in his arms and against his chest. Touching her was like lightning, giving him flashes of heat and intensity everytime he made contact.

She somehow backed him over to the elevator, but the only thing he noticed was the taste of her neck as he labored over it, careful not to mark her.

He was pressed up against the door when it opened, almost falling if not for her quick reflexes, saving him yet again from another series of broken bones.

She pulled away from him to push the button for her cabin and key in the CO code that would keep anyone else from calling the elevator while she was in it.

“You know,” he said, leaning on the back wall and trying to catch his breath, “we wouldn’t have to deal with an audience everytime we’re alone if you would just tell your friends we’re already in a relationship.”

Shepard rolled her eyes at him, and gave him a look which he could read flawlessly considering the number of times they’d had this conversation, often switching sides of the argument but knowing that keeping the relationship under the radar of Alliance regs was the best plan.

Instead of continuing the conversation, knowing how it would play out anyway, Joker lifted his hand and gestured for her to come closer. He kissed her, ramping it up again. 

By the time the doors opened to her cabin’s floor, Joker’s pants were unbuttoned, and his hand was completely ignoring the impedance of Shepard’s leggings.

They refused to part as they moved toward Shepard’s cabin door, both of them blindly reaching for the button and completely missing it until EDI took pity on them and opened the door for them.

They moved through the room on instinct, finally able to reach the parts of each other they couldn’t elsewhere on the ship. Joker pushed Shepard onto the bed, and she bounced, laughing.

He raked his eyes over her, grateful as always that he was allowed to see her like this, bright and happy and completely bare to him in body and soul. “I love you.” He sighed, climbing onto the bed to join her.

She looked at him, smiling. Brushing her hand through his hair, she responded, “I love you too. Now shut up, I need you.”

The two of them leaned in at the same time, and just let go and lost themselves in each other.


End file.
